Essay/Term paper: Date rape

Essay, term paper, research paper:  Domestic Abuse

Date Rape

In an ideal world, all men would be caring , respectful, and protective. This
is not an ideal world; every woman has a responsibility to herself and to
understand the risks and to protect herself fagainst them (Date Rape: The Danger
is Not From a Stranger 13). One of the biggest risks from a male to a female
is date rape. Date rape is the crime in which the victim, most of them women,
is forced in to having sexual intercourse by someone they are familiar with (1).
1 in 4 women will be raped in their life time. This is a very scary, yet true
statistic. Women need to understand what is going on with the situation of date
rape, and be looked on less as the problem, so more women will come out and
report the incident. It is not in any way the woman's fault for being the
victim of date rape, but it is the fault of the rapist, and the rapist should
pay the consequences. The question might come up...why would a man force a woman
to have sex, or why would a woman doubt that it happened, or that she was
forced? Well, there are many reasons. A lot of these reasons having to do with
how American kids are raised. Boys are brought up thinking they are strong and
aggressive, while on the other hand, girls are brought up being passive and
"what you say goes" (Shuker-Haines and Stark 23) . This shouldn't be going on
in our society...not with the advancements we have made in our country.

It is sometimes said that the woman who was the victim of rape shared fault for
the rape for wearing a skirt too short, or maybe if she stops over at his house.
It shouldn't matter what women wear, or where they are. If a woman says no to
sexual activity, then everything should stop. There are also ways that men
"mis-interperate" things women say. For instance, when women say "no", they
mean "not yet...keep trying", or men think it is okay to be rough, as long as
there is no injury, or if the women agrees to kidding, necking, etc...then she
wants intercourse. Some men also look at women as "fair game" if the woman is
not a virgin. There seems to also be confusion whether rape was commited in
instances like when a sexually active couple had been drinking and the woman
says no to having sex, but is too drunk to do anything so sex occurs. Or
perhaps earlier in the date she said okay, and then change her mind, or maybe
the woman said no, and the man persuaded her to. Are these instances rape?
More women then men say yes. There are no laws to destinquish these situations
(Date Rape: The Danger in Not From the Stranger 6). There shouldn't have to be
laws to say when it is rape. If a woman says "no", she means "no". No one
should ever force shomeone else to have sex against their will. That's rape.
And rape is the fault of the rapist, not the victim (qtd. in Shucker-Haines and
Stark 22).

It is hard enough for a woman to come out and admit her story of being raped,
but it is harder when she tells her story and it isn't even given two glances.
In San Jose, California, a girl was raped by her boyfriend and when she came out
and talked about it, the school ignored the issue (Herald 2). The school stated
that they should stay out of it because it was too hard to prove, and that it
was only her word against his (2). The crime of rape should not be over- looked
in such a way. Rape is looked as a crime of assult. Like other assults rape
causes physical and mental injuries. It especially causes a long and painful
emotional aftermath for the victim. The rapist who caused all of this for his
victim has a chance of serving jail terms, perhpas lasting for years, but so
many times rapists walk because "there wasn't proof". In these situations like
that judges look at what kind of people the man and the woman are, and what
their relationship is. That's called sterotyping. We are taught not to
sterotype (Date Rape: The Danger is Not From the Stranger 3).

In some cases, women take a stand, and when the case is being looked at, and
possibly proved, women will come back to the police and ask to drop the charges
saying things like "I was wrong...we were making love" (Hennessy 3). Women need
to be strong as well as be educated with what date rape is. They can't back
down on their gaurd. Rapists need to pay for how they abuse women, both
externally as well as internally. A 1988 study showed that more than half the
female teens surveyed thought there were times when it would be acceptable for a
man to force sex (Date Rape: The Danger is Not From the Stranger 10). This is
terrible! It is not a woman's fault that she was forced into sex! In the 1993-
94 law enforcement records, 35% of the women who reported thier rapes dropped or
diverted the charges for "various reasons" (4). Women need to face the
situation head on and be independent...realizing what happened to her is not
okay...and things need to be done.